Libation Lamentation

Dear Mr. President,
A laurel to you for your willingness to roll up the sleeves and help bury that hatchet between Messrs. Gates and Crowley. Boy that one almost got out of control on us!
The reason I even clicked on the link to the story about this patio diplomacy, was because the headline said something about you and Joe and these two guys having a beer together. “This is great!” I thought. “Our youthful President with his blackberry will shed light on the important matter of beer in America! Surely he knows that American owned breweries and American craft beer are one of today’s great unsung heroes! Surely he won’t be drinking a beer brewed by ImBev, or Miller, or Canadian Coors!”
Alas Mr. President, I was utterly disappointed! Mr. Biden was drinking some kind of straw-colored libation that had low alcohol and probably even lower taste. Mr. Gates went way out on a limb and had a Sam Adams Light (I read a book about light beers once), Mr. Crowley drank a Canadian Blue Moon with an orange in it, just to look extra Canadian, and the Head of State himself had a um, err, Bud Light? Mr. President, I know you are a busy man, and have little time for the ins & outs of beer in America, but you are missing the boat! There is beer out there, sitting on shelves and in kegs, that is actually delicious! There is beer out there that tastes like something other than the Daytona 500 smells! Beer brewed by small business owners, who live to brew a product they are incredibly proud of! Do you think the drones that own Budweiser are proud of their beer? No! They’re proud of their Brazilian soccer and their Belgian non-frenchness! The fact that the supporting actors of this meeting were not real beer makes me wonder if it was also not a real meeting. Have these gentlemen actually settled their differences? Was there actual dialogue going on? If it was anything like the beer that you guys were drinking, I have to think it was all for naught. No content, no real value, just a show, just a bit of advertising.
Next time I’d like you to consider having an American made, American owned craft beer, play some Bocce Ball, really hash things out between these guys. It looks from here like you guys just took some crappy ingredients, fermented it with some snapshots, watered it down with some rolled up sleeves, slapped a label on it and called it a real product. Well, you’re not foolin’ me. I’ve tasted that beer, and I'm just not buying it.

With warmest regards,
Ethan