Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Ryan started the fire...

For the last three months or so the break room at my job has had only one microwave to serve all 50 or so of us, and we all take our lunch at the same time. I’m sure you can see the problem with this.
Just recently, though, an optimistic young lady decided to take up a collection for a new microwave. Now, let me tell you that during this stint of only one functional microwave, EVERYONE complained. Do you know how much money she raised from 50 people to buy a new one? $30. Awesome.
Then, on the last day of the collection, another co-worker (think Creed Bratten), came in with a brand new microwave to donate. Then the next day we had a total of three of them! It was great. No more waiting for 10 minutes while everyone cooks their frozen-solid, processed TV dinner type meals. Plus, the two new microwaves didn’t have the chronic smell of burnt popcorn. Did I tell you that people here don’t know how to cook popcorn? About once a week the whole office smells like char and smoke from that carcinogenic yellow glue that lines the inside of microwavable popcorn bags. And secondly, who microwaves popcorn at work? We’re not watching Varsity Blues, people! We’re providing healthcare! But alas, we have new microwaves, so my lunch doesn’t have to smell like that, right? Wait, what’s that smell? Its only 7:45 in the morning. Who eats popcorn at 7:45 in the morning? PEOPLE! Who eats burnt microwave popcorn at 7:45 in the morning!!!??? NOOOOOOooooooo!!!! (Cry fades off to an oblivion foggy with popcorn smoke.)

3 comments:

Travis McKinney said...

aaaahahahahaha!

Stan Putnam said...

i bet you wish you were watching varsity blues. youre a james vanderbeek fah-reak.

Ethan said...

The thing about movie Mondays is that they actually increase productivity...because people have to work harder afterward to make up for lost time. Entourage!